This is really why I started this blog. I so desperately want to help people see who they really are. For so long, I didn’t really know who I was. I had an idea, and I faked it a lot. People thought that I knew, but I didn’t. I was raised in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I had a strong Gospel home, where strong and important values were taught. I never really strayed from those standards and teachings growing up. If I am going to be honest, but that doesn’t mean that I never have. I most definitely have strayed. If I am going to be honest, I am still on my way back. Going the path of most resistance; it is the hardest road, but I wouldn’t trade the experiences that I got when I as at my furthest and darkest point for anything.
What I am trying to accomplish here,is to help you know who we really are.Now who is that? We are sons and daughters of a Heavenly King. An all-powerful being. A being and can create life, nations, and worlds without end, in fact…he created YOU! Do you really think that he doesn’t know who you are? He took the time to create you. I don’t think that he could forget you so easily, but some of you will ignore this and think “no, that may be the case with his other creations, but not me”. I know this feeling all too well.
Over the past year, I fought tooth and nail to reprogram my brain. As I said, I was raised in a strong Gospel home, but as a family, we fell short, many times. I have very few memories of my parents being happy in their marriage. We always knew that their children brought them joy, but sometimes life circumstances got the best of them. It was a long time ago, and we all know how over time, the sad parts of life either go away and forget them because we don’t want to remember, or we remember them, because they hurt so much. Life had been hard for them and if affected my opinion on marriage. I don’t share this for pity, but for inspiration. Living in a home where marriage is not a blessing, but more a curse or burden, didn’t make me want to pursue that stage in life. There were other things that tore my family apart. Mental illnesses, terminal illnesses, and other health conditions that would be hard for anyone to handle. Words were said in anger that one cannot take back. Words that would become my basic beliefs of who I am, and not in a good way. I am not saying that my family has never recovered from this upbringing, but more that we have risen to the challenge and overcome what has come our way, so far. There are challenges every day to make us think of giving up, but we try our best.
Being raised in a home of contention made it very difficult to see how God saw me. I didn’t really see myself as one of his daughters; his creations. I couldn’t figure out what he wanted for me. I had been taught that he wanted me to have a family of my own, but I didn’t want one. So how could he think that was best for me? After what I saw growing up, it didn’t make sense to me. I am not sure when things began to change for me, but somewhere deep inside of me, I wanted to have the happiness and peace that God promised in such an amazing union. I didn’t want what my parents had, and I didn’t want what “bitter against love or marriage” people had. So, I made a choice, I was going to learn to want marriage, in the right way and right time. 🙂
This change didn’t start until I served a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My mission was for others, but it was for me. I learned about communication, sacrifice and being humble for the benefit of the friendship, and for the success of the companionship. I learned things about working with people that I love, and people that were harder to love, that I would have never learned in my home growing up. It was so worth it! Things started to change for me. I came home, and as any RM (Returned Missionary), gung-ho to get into dating and looking for a spouse. Life VERY quickly slapped me in the face! I learned from the slap though! It just wasn’t that simple.
I learned this by learning who I was to God. I learned that He loved me! He loved me enough to let me fall and learn to pick myself back-up. He loved me enough to see miracles first hand. He loved me enough to let me be a part of his miraculous plan for his other children. There was no way that I couldn’t see His love for me. Have I forgotten since, yes! I will not always remember who I am, but I have learned who I am before. I will be able to call upon that knowledge again and build on it.
All that I hope for, with this blog, is to help you see who you are, both in life and in the Eternities. God loves you, this time is hard. Dating sucks, no matter what age you are. Each stage of life has its challenges, but remember God loves you enough to let you experience pain, so that you can know that full joy of what he has promised!There will be blessings to come, trust Heavenly Father. He knows what he is doing,and he knows what you need! You just need to believe and have faith in him. If,there is nothing else that I can do for you other than help you see who you really are then I have done what I know God wants me to do. Hear from you soon! Love yous!